Navigating the Many Faces of Grief

Losing a dear friend shook me to my core, but through that grief, I unearthed something profound: I wasn't just grieving her. I found myself mourning my friend who died by suicide in our 20s, my uncle who passed when I was only six, and the times I didn't get to process - when no tears fell, when words eluded me, yet the ache remained.

Grief reveals itself in many forms. While our culture often associates it with deep, visceral pain, especially during those raw early days, it can also embody strength, resilience, and an unexpected momentum forward.

How we emerge from grief often connects to the influences that have shaped us, both the nurturing care we received and the absence of protective presence. Picture a child who loses a beloved father figure. They may feel the gap in their world, yet lack the vocabulary or emotional understanding to articulate that loss, "My fun-loving uncle isn't coming back." Their grief may settle in their body, a burden waiting for a safe space to be acknowledged.

Reflecting on my spasms of grief, many stemming from unacknowledged 'small t' traumas, I came to an important realization: It's never too late to support your child in processing their experiences of loss. If your child has faced a loss, regardless of how long ago it occurred, you can gently reignite those conversations. Perhaps all it requires is reading a children's story together and asking:

"What do you remember when Granny died?"

"How did you feel during that time?"

"What was the hardest part for you?"

Always close these inquiries with loving reassurance: "I'm here whenever you want to talk about it."

To honor the memory of my colleague Alison Morrow, my fellow parenting coach community has compiled a list of beautiful books and resources that can support both children and adults in navigating their grief.

📚 Resources for Children and Families Experiencing Grief

Grief Related to Pets

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney — Judith Viorst

Fred Rogers: When a Pet Dies

Jasper’s Day (about putting a dog to sleep)

The Invisible Leash — Patrice Karst

Saying Goodbye to Lulu

Bug Cemetery — Frances Hill

Prince (Sparkle Stories – death of a pet) → Listen here

Grief Related to People

Everett Anderson’s Goodbye — Lucille Clifton (death of a father)

Valerie and the Silver Pear — Benjamin Darling (death of a grandmother)

Kiddish for Grandpa in Jesus’ Name — James Howe (inter-faith loss)

Molly’s Rosebush — Janice Cohn (miscarriage)

The Endless Story — Melissa Kircher (explaining life and death)

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf — Leo Buscaglia

The Dead Bird — Margaret Wise Brown & Christian Robinson

When Dinosaurs Die — Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown

Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs — Tomie dePaola

Ida, Always — Caron Levis (loss and friendship through polar bears)

Tough Boris — Mem Fox

The Goodbye Book — Todd Parr

The Heart and the Bottle — Oliver Jeffers (for long grief)

The Goblin and the Empty Chair — Mem Fox

My Father’s Arms Are a Boat — Stein Erik Lunde

Beyond the Ridge — Paul Goble

General Resources on Death, Loss, and Healing

Lifetimes — Bryan Mellonie (all living things have lifetimes)

Understanding Death and Illness and What They Teach About Life — Catherine Faherty (not just for children on the spectrum)

Muddles, Puddles, and Sunshine

Through the Mickle Woods

Tear Soup

The Rabbit Listened

Badger’s Parting Gifts

For Adults Reflecting on Death and Loss

Die Wise — Stephen Jenkinson Read here (Alison's recommendation as she grappled with the inquiry of her own and her ancestors)

Let's walk this path of healing together, allowing space for our stories to emerge and connect.